Sunday Afternoon’s #WeekendCoffeeShare

If We Were Having Coffee this morning, I would be late! I enjoyed a nice sleep-in until 0830, Al’s having gotten up sometime earlier, I think, to let the Scampers outside (usually sometime between six o’clock and seven-thirty). I now am writing my WeekendCoffeeShare post instead of eating my already late lunch. That being said, I do currently have hot water for tea or coffee, bottled water, milk, and a couple cold, left-over cans of Barq root beer. There’s also cheese. (Al ate all the rest of the doughnut holes last night. Not on my diet!)

The week’s been busier than I’d thought it would be. The joists are now up on Al’s workshop; a cousin and his crew, unable to get over here last Monday, did make it on Tuesday to put the boards on the roof. Al’s decided to do the rest of the roof himself. Hopefully the tar paper will go on easier when there’s no driving sun or wind gusts. This next try will most likely be on Tuesday, allowing for Monday afternoon/evening rain.

my husband's workshop project, himself on the roof, ladder leaning against the unfinished building

I would tell you that I got to do some lifting and carrying and holding boards in place while he nailed them down. I enjoy being able to help, even a little, with his project Getting quite excited about this, as he will have many, many happy months spent finishing the building inside and out.

I’d share with you that I have had fun taking flower photos during the breaks. I have, however, been more tired than I’m happy with and am taking more frequent naps during the day. I have ordered an extra reading copy of Coming Up for Light and Air: Poems by Barbara Crow, so that I will be able to find it when I need it. I do not, of course, know details—no personal information. The poet and her husband lost a child, and among her poems I feel avoidance, recognition and resolution, and an acceptance of grief as life goes on. I am finding that reading through these poems helps me to process my own grief over the loss of my sister and my parents. And, this morning, strangely enough, the loss of two siblings in their first days of life, whom I never got to meet in this lifetime.

Of contemporary poets, there are two whose volumes I keep close at hand with one or two extra copies: Barbara’s Coming Up for Light and Air and Samih al-Qasim’s Sadder than Water. At times, they are too real, but that is good. I do not wish to step out of reality, but to embrace it in all of its aspects. This is difficult, because I am cut too deeply by it and bleed too much.

Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind
Cannot bear very much reality.
Time past and time future
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present

I’ve a long-standing love–hate relationship with those lines from “Burnt Norton”.

Tomorrow, I have my next meeting with the grief counselor. I’m coming up on six months since my mother died and two and a half months since Father died. The poems that I wrote concerning them, the last day of April, the poetry-writing month, do so characterize the differences in our individual relationships.

I have signed up for the message boards at the American Diabetes Association web site and also a two-year (12-month) subscription to their magazine, which comes with a digital edition. I still have to make an introductory post, this weekend.

This week’s indulgence: On Monday, I ordered (and yesterday received by USPS) a set of “blessings” tokens based on Sharon Shinn’s Elemental Blessings series. They often lend an unexpected angle of perception on events and…add a filter, perhaps, to provide a range of helpful perspectives. Another writing prompt, if you will! I write my life! I had been using paper tiles, but finding them useful generally, I decided to go with a more durable set. They will not wear out or lose their print so fast as paper.

Thank you for visiting, once again! I’ve enjoyed your company. Looking forward to reading your #WeekendCoffeeShare post and meeting with you soon.

Best wishes,

Please stop by Emily’s Nerd in the Brain blog to read her post. There you also will find the InLinkz button with links to other #WeekendCoffeeShare participants.


Weekend Coffee Share: Time Out

If we were having coffee together, this Noon, I wouldn’t be very talkative.  There’s still orange juice to offer you, tea-bag tea, or coffee brewed from cold concentrate. I have persuaded the puppies that this is their nap time, hopefully pushing off their Noon meal an hour or so.

I still am adjusting to Mother’s being dead, and so it seems odd to be making plans for her memorial gathering, which is a few weeks away. We will be celebrating Mother’s life on one day near the beginning of December, and the next morning, having a party for Father, who turns 100 on the twelfth. The East and West Coast contingents have now checked in, and it sounds as though more siblings will make it to the gatherings than Tim and I had thought.

If you were here, I would share with you some of the major events of the week. Tim, the sibling next in age to me, drove up from the Twin Cities on Wednesday to visit with my father. That evening, he met us at our usual restaurant for an early dinner. He’d visited the funeral home in our home town and also visited with our father. He and I and Al had a wonderful time visiting about the past, and about Mother and Father’s strong influence on our lives, as well as ongoing concerns and responsibilities.

Tim and I divvied up chores and now I must figure out who to ask for photographs that include my mother. Both Mother and Father have opted not to have religious services in conjunction with or in addition to their burial services or interments. It most likely has (in Mother’s case, definitely has) to do with the decision of “their” church in the home town recently leaving the ELCA over the issue of gay marriage/gay clergy.

I would want to share with you the pride we feel when Tim and I think about our parents and the influence they had on our early years. Tim wrote a nice tribute on his Facebook page, with the security set to Public.

Before Thursday ended, Tim and I confirmed our choices of hymn (if we can find an accompanist among a family prone to choose instruments other than the piano), scripture and poem for the memorial program. I’d like to share those with you, since few of you will be at the interment or memorial gathering.

The hymn, of course, for my mother, who spent her Navy years on Maui, working with the naval bases there, is “Eternal Father, Strong to Save” (The Navy Hymn). The scripture is Romans 8:38-39 (NIV), and I’m copying the poem below, because it is one of mine, which I wrote for my parents in either 1986 or 1987, as a Christmas present.

“Born of Love”

You taught me how to stand apart,
to understand and be myself.
You gave me the courage to walk alone
when none would join me.
You showed me how to look through words
into the worlds that others live in.

You taught me how to listen
with my heart and dare to make
no judgments
but those born of love.

Copyright © 25 Dec. 1987, by Elizabeth (Wicker) Bennefeld.

I would invite you to visit our host, Diana, at Part Time Monster Blog and look on Twitter, Facebook and elsewhere for the weekendcoffeeshare tag.

It was nice to have this chance to take time out to visit. Thanks for stopping by, and best wishes for your week!

P.S. The featured image for this post is of my mother Rhoda, me, and my dad Roy.

1947: Rhoda, Elizabeth and Roy

Sunday Morning’s #WeekendCoffeeShare

If We Were Having Coffee this morning, we would be drinking cold Toddy coffee straight from the refrigerator. Once the Scampers wake up, opportunities for writing will be lost, and I would like to have some down time, here, in pleasant company. It’s been a rough week, here.

If we were having coffee together this morning, I would share the good news that my husband’s two cataract surgeries are over and the results are quite perfect. He goes back for a check-up by the surgeon in three weeks and testing for reading glasses; Al had to choose between distance and close for the surgery, and he decided that reading glasses would be the most practical.Read More »