Shadows – Haiku

long leaves screen my eyes
from noon’s bright light, strewing sun
shadows over stone

6 thoughts on “Shadows – Haiku”

little learner says:

2015-10-05 at 10:31

I think this is my favourite of the day. I love the way you used the word “screen” — as a verb rather than a noun. Your alliteration is beautiful. I am very impressed!!! Well done!

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Annie says:

2015-10-05 at 07:07

This is really lovely! Great Haiku!

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jgavinbergstrom says:

2015-10-05 at 04:06

I enjoyed this, thank you. I had some difficulty with the syllable count, 5-7-5. I had to do a recount throughout the creative process continually. It was interesting and rendered an unexpected result.

Thanks

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1. Lizl says:
  
  2015-10-05 at 04:21
  
  I have that trouble also. Gotten to where I keep all my versions, writing in a text file, revisions in a column, so that I can go back to a previous iteration and pick up an old line or part of one to fix what I broke. Looks like you did pretty good on the syllables on yours!
  
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  1. jgavinbergstrom says:
    
    2015-10-05 at 04:44
    
    Yes, after counting the syllables out with my fingers. Ha ha. It was fun.
    
    Thanks Liz
    
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jacquelineobyikocha says:

2015-10-05 at 03:45

This sounds so calming. Creates an image of you under the shades of a tree. Well done!

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