Shadows – Haiku

long leaves screen my eyes
from noon’s bright light, strewing sun
shadows over stone

[haiku, alliteration.]  Copyright © 2015-10-24, by Elizabeth Bennefeld.

 

6 thoughts on “Shadows – Haiku

  1. I think this is my favourite of the day. I love the way you used the word “screen” — as a verb rather than a noun. Your alliteration is beautiful. I am very impressed!!! Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I enjoyed this, thank you. I had some difficulty with the syllable count, 5-7-5. I had to do a recount throughout the creative process continually. It was interesting and rendered an unexpected result.

    Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have that trouble also. Gotten to where I keep all my versions, writing in a text file, revisions in a column, so that I can go back to a previous iteration and pick up an old line or part of one to fix what I broke. Looks like you did pretty good on the syllables on yours!

      Like

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